09/01/2025

Communication – The Illusion It Has Taken Place

What Do We Mean by Communication?

Communication is often misunderstood. We tend to equate it to the act of conveying a message, but in reality, true communication goes far beyond words. It’s about connecting on a level where meaning is not just shared but felt. 

Yet, how often do we pause to ask, “Did the other person genuinely understand what I meant?, or did I just feel good because I got to press send and get it off my list?”

In George Bernard Shaw’s words, 

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

We believe we’ve communicated because we’ve spoken, written, or presented. However, true communication requires an assurance of connection, understanding, and alignment.

Maya Angelou once said, 

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

This beautifully encapsulates what communication is truly about—an emotional exchange that leaves a lasting impression. If communication does not create understanding and emotional resonance, is it really any more than just noise?

Where do we go wrong, and why?

Research published in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication (yes, it does exist!) indicates that different communication modalities significantly impact feelings of connection. The study found that while texting can reduce loneliness and foster some degree of connection compared to isolation, richer forms of communication, like voice or video calls, are far more effective in fulfilling the human need to belong.

Belonging and connectedness are deeply intertwined, and yet, they often get lost in our modern communication habits. Most of us fall into the trap of simply transmitting information rather than ensuring it’s been received as intended. This isn’t surprising, given the speed and scale of technological advancements.

From the invention of the internet to the dawn of AI and quantum computing, the pace of change has been seismic. The sheer magnitude of these shifts has left little time for us to adapt to the ways technology shapes and sometimes distorts how we connect with one another.

So is it any wonder if our ability to connect is all out of kilter?

No, it’s not.  So, first things first – be kind to yourself!

A frequent misunderstanding is the conflation of communication with connection. While communication is the transfer of information, connection is the bridge that makes the transfer meaningful. Without connection, words can easily fall flat, like a badly kneaded dough.

Consider these common barriers:

• Over-reliance on verbal communication: Studies suggest that only 7% of communication is verbal. Tone of voice (38%) and body language (55%) make up the majority of our communicative impact. Yet, in our email-driven world, the nuance of tone and non-verbal cues is often lost.
• Assuming understanding: We rarely verify whether the recipient has interpreted the message as intended.
• Hiding behind technology: Emails, chats, and even virtual meetings often lack the personal connection needed for effective communication.

Five Steps To Level-up Your Connection Game

1. Pause and Check for Understanding: Communication is a two-way street. Incorporate open-ended questions like, “What’s your understanding of this?” to confirm alignment.
2. Be Clear on the Purpose: Before speaking or writing, ask yourself: What do I want this person to know, feel, or do as a result?
3. Choose the Right Medium: Not all messages are suited for email or text. A heartfelt thank-you might need a handwritten note, while complex decisions might call for a face-to-face conversation.
4. Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues: Whether in-person or on video calls, be conscious of body language—both yours and others’. Are they leaning in? Nodding? Making eye contact? These are signs of connection.
5. Adapt to Your Audience: Consider their communication style. Are they detail-oriented and prefer specifics, or are they big-picture thinkers? Tailor your message accordingly.

Different Forms of Communication for Different Contexts

In today’s roadrunner-paced world, it’s really hard to sift convenience from effectiveness.

Here’s three ways to help break that habit:

• Stop Hiding Behind Email: Ask yourself if your message could be misunderstood. If the answer is yes, pick up the phone, send a video, or schedule a meeting.
• Assess the Need for a Meeting: Is this something that could be resolved with a succinct voice memo or a clear document? If so, spare your team (and you) yet another meeting.
• Embrace Video and Voice: Sometimes, a short video or voice message conveys sincerity and tone better than plain text.  We know it’s not natural for many people, but you won’t believe the difference it makes – it’s a total game-changer if you’re an email junkie right now..

True communication is an art—one that requires practice, intention, and empathy. It’s not just about the clarity of your words but the impact they leave behind. As Maya Angelou reminds us, how you make others feel matters most. 

By ensuring that your words inspire understanding and emotional resonance, you build stronger relationships, clearer expectations, and there’s meaningful outcomes left right and centre.

Does any of this resonate?

Our session, The Surprising Power of Effective Communication, dives deep into this very topic—exploring how to cut through noise, create and enjoy meaningful connections, and transform your communication into a tool for influence, empathy, and impact. 

Because at the heart of every brilliant leader, team and organisation is the ability to communicate—and connect—authentically.

This masterclass helps to strengthen a team’s dynamic, enhance collaboration and power up creativity. 

Find out more about Lead Happy Masterclasses